The thoughts we absorb as women

When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that I needed to know how to cook at least 3 dishes if I wanted to find a husband. When guests would come over, I was in charge of serving drinks and snacks to everyone as they waited because I needed to learn how to be a good hostess (so I could be a good wife). I was also supposed to learn about football because it would set me apart, my mom thought, in the marriage market.

I didn’t learn how to cook until I was 26 and I have never, to this day, watched an entire football game. My mother’s efforts to make me a good wife had the opposite effect she intended.

Growing up, I learned that the goal was to get a husband.

Nobody ever shared ideas with me about doing meaningful work, making money, being the breadwinner for my family, or making a difference on the planet. That was not the goal. The goal was: husband, children, family. Mostly it was important for me to know how to make dinner.

And while these concepts seem absolutely batshit backwards to me now – they still lived in my subconscious. They still impacted what I did and what I didn't do. What I said and what I didn't say.

When I started making real money in my business, I had a meltdown. After my first $25k month, I was so freaked out I didn't earn another dollar for 3 months. I didn’t want to out-earn my partner or my dad. It didn't make any sense to me, consciously. Intellectually I didn't agree with those thoughts. But they were still there. I couldn't make another dollar because I was scared. That is how old thoughts and story lines live inside of us.

And so, Roe v. Wade was just overturned. That's where we are.

There has never been a more important time for women to know how to identify, question, and un-believe the old, shitty thoughts that make us too scared to really go for it.

Are you really bad with money? Or did you inherit your thoughts about money from your grandma, who wasn't legally allowed to open a bank account or take out a loan? Are you really not qualified to start your own business? Or is it that your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother, and your great-great-great-great-grandmother were all told, explicitly and implicitly, that woman had nothing to contribute to society other than being wives and mothers?

Is it really hard to make money? Or is it that that story is told to everyone except white men?

Have you questioned it?

I’m inviting you to question it. To uncover every single thought that keeps you from doing the thing you can't stop thinking about – and to not stop questioning those thoughts until you’re free.

You are the one that's holding you back.

You are the one that has to set you free.